


Little Red Riding Will

by orphan_account



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Gen, fairytale retelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-18 05:02:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the Big Bad Wolf is a cannibal driving a Mercedes and Little Red is still a bit too naive for her (or his) own good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Red Riding Will

Once upon a time, in a faraway land called Virginia, there lived a man named Will Graham. One day, Will Graham’s boss, Jack Crawford called him on the phone.

“Will, I need you to deliver some gifts to Abigail Hobbs. Can you take them to her for me?”

“Yes, I can.” Will agreed. Before he could hang up the phone, Jack added one more thing. “Will. It’s dangerous out there. Don’t drive off the main road, and don’t talk to strangers. There are bad people out there. Stay safe.”

Will promised he would be careful, and after putting on his jacket, he gathered up the things he needed to bring to Abigail, and got in his car.

He had not been driving a long time before he hit a stoplight, and another car, a very shiny grey Mercedes, pulled up beside him. The other car’s window rolled down and he saw a man looking him up and down.

“Where are you going with that basket of gifts?” The man in the other car asked.

“I’m going to deliver them to my kind of adopted daughter who is possibly a serial killer.” Will told the man. He only smiled and rolled up the window

'This was his chance', the man thought. For what Will didn’t know was that this man was Hannibal Lecter, one of the bad people that Jack had warned him of. Will didn’t think much of ithe encounter, and arrived soon after at Abigail’s house. The door was already unlocked.

“Good morning, Abigail.” Will said, putting the gifts down. “I brought you some things.”

Abigail was lying in her bed, covers pulled up past her chin, and when she spoke, it was in a strange voice.

“Thank you Will.”

Will shuffled closer to her bed and peered at her through his glasses.

“Abigail, what large eyes you have.” Her eyes were staring wide and unblinking up into Will’s, making him very uncomfortable.  
“All the better to see you with.” She replied.

“And Abigail,” Will said upon closer inspection of the girl in bed, “what a large nose you have there.”   
Abigail took a deep breath. “All the better to smell you with.”

“My, Abigail. What large hands you have.” Her hands were indeed large for a teenage girl.  
“All the better to hold you with.” Now this was odd.

“What sharp teeth you have, Abigail.”  
At that moment, her covers were flung off to reveal to Will that this was not, in fact, Abigail, but the man from the other car- Hannibal Lecter, wearing Abigail's neck scarf over his impeccably ironed suit!

“All the better to eat you with, Will!” Hannibal jumped at him, hands outstretched, but before Will knew what had happened, the sound of two gunshots echoed through the room, and Hannibal fell from midair to a crumpled heap on the floor.

Will spun around to see Beverley Katz standing in the doorway, gun still aimed at the body on the floor. She smiled like the bad ass motherfucker she was and said:

“Now, Will. What did Crawford say about talking to strangers?”

Everyone lived happily ever after, with no hallucinations or time done in mental institutions. 

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> Much like Cotton Eye Joe, I really don't know where this came from.


End file.
